I Love You x When Hell Freezes Over
by littlesheep
Summary: Three little words, said without thinking about it, can turn the world upside down. I never knew why it would be such a big mistake - until now. Forgive him? When hell freezes over. First person, Stella's POV. SMacked, StellaMac as always.


HAPPY NEW YEAR **everyone**!

And thanks SO much for all your sweet comments on the latest chapter of "This Could Be The Last Time", as well as for activating story/author alerts and for bookmarking it as a favorite story. I can't tell you how happy I am that so many of you are still around and with me here :-) *happydance* And also thanks for respecting the "no spoiling in reviews and no commenting on ..." ;-) You are the BEST! Here's a little New Years gift for you in return - I thought I'd post this before continuing with the other story (next chapter is finished as well, will follow the next days!).

Thanks to my great friend Mitch for quickly checking the story despite the holidays!

It's M-rated, I hope you don't mind ;-) Well, nobody complained on previous occasions, so I thought I'd try it. I hope you like it!

Please read and review as usual - thanks guys!

x

Features the song "Nah!" by Shania Twain (from the album "Up!") - it's not really part of the story from the lyrics, but still kind of fits from its meaning. Picture it as background music when you "watch the story in your head".

**Disclaimer**: All the original characters belong to their owners - except for Mac and Stella. **Mac belongs to Stella** and **Stella belongs to Mac**. (Some things never change - EVER!)

* * *

_I thought I might begin by fillin' you in  
In case you didn't already know  
I'll never forget how you got up and left  
In fact it was downright pretty low_

_There ain't no way I wanna  
You know I ain't gonna  
Take you back, so don't even try_

XXXXX_  
_

Maybe I'll just go to bed early. Haven't done that forever and it's been a rough couple of days lately. But then there is this dream... A nice dream, no doubt. Yet it kept me from peaceful, dreamless sleep at nights for weeks now and above all that, it makes life incredibly complicated during the days as well…

* * *

_His hands drop to the small of my back and his thumbs massage the tight muscles along my spine. His arms lightly brush the sides of my breasts as he does so and I feel heat rapidly spreading over my entire body. I close my eyes, my breathing quickens and I feel myself melt against his body. Our eyes meet and he hesitates a moment, then cups my face with his hands and I feel his warm lips on my mouth._

_My eyes closed again, I collapse against his chest and return the kiss. I feel his hand under my shirt, fingers dancing across my bare skin. Shivers are running up and down my back. Involuntarily, I arch myself against him. His hand drops lower and I can feel his feathery touch around my waist and up my stomach before he starts circling my breasts with tender yet skilled precision. He stops for a moment and softly pushes me into the pillows, coming down to lay beside me, his eyes never leaving mine. He shifts onto his side and pulls me against him. I can feel his arousal against my body. His hands are all over me and I can't even remember how many orgasms I had before we made love._

_

* * *

_

That's usually the moment when the alarm shrills. Sometimes it happens earlier, before we get close enough. I'm not entirely sure which is more frustrating. I dig my face into my pillow. One thing is for sure, I wouldn't say no. I want him with every fiber of my body. And in my dream, he wants me, too. I could have lived with it if things had just gone on that way, but…

But then it happened.

What? Well, here's the short version...

Did I have sex? _Yes._

Was it good? _It was the best sex I ever had in my life._

Do I want to jump off a bridge? _Maybe._

Why? _For making the biggest mistake a girl can make_…

XXXXX

_You can beg, you can plead  
You can sweat, you can bleed  
Too bad I could care if you cry  
_

_That's it! (That's all!) We had fun!  
(We had a ball!)  
It was good while it lasted  
But now I'm past it_

_(It was sure!) It was sweet!  
Sure you swept me off my feet  
I miss you now and then  
But would I do it all again?_

_Nah!  
_

XXXXX

So how did it happen?

I can tell exactly how it happened, but I have no explanation or excuse as to why it did. It must have been one of those 'heat of the moment' things that you don't see coming and only notice when you're already in the middle of it and it's too late to back off. Sounds like a lame excuse, but I don't have anything better. Fact is, we had been on a tough case and were on the way back to the lab, when we got near his neighborhood. So I offered to drop him off at his place and take the car back to the garage. No need for both of us to go back all through the city, right? Right.

XXXXX

Well, when we got to his house, he asked if I would like to come in for a moment, have a cup of coffee. Yeah, cliché, I know, but nevertheless. And from there, things went their own way. Although, to my defense I have to point out that we indeed did have coffee. First.

After we finished our cups, he leaned back on the couch, his hands behind his head, his black shirt stretched over his chest muscles. He looked exhausted - and sooo sexy. I _love_ this black shirt. I slid down onto the couch next to him, tilting my head to look at him from the side.

The next thing I remember is his hands on my body, his lips all over my face, my ears, my neck. There was no way to resist, images from countless sleepless nights flooded my brain while I started unbuttoning his shirt, pressing little kisses on every inch of exposed skin. He quietly moaned into my ear, carefully pushing me back and moving over me. I could feel his arousal against my thighs and paused to enjoy the waves of pleasure.

He used the opportunity to get up, looking down at me expectantly and a little uncertain. I smiled and rose slightly to be able to reach him. My fingers trailed up and down the front of his pants, then slowly opening the button and very carefully pulling down the zipper. He pressed his lips together for a moment and sighed deeply.

"You want me to touch you?" I softly asked and he nodded, almost shyly. And so I did.

"God... this is so much better than in my dreams," he groaned with pleasure.

"Dreams?" I wondered, momentarily panicked that he somehow learned about my little secret.

"Every night," he admitted, slight embarrassed.

I got up and pushed him back onto the couch, then I slowly pulled off my shirt and unhooked my bra before kneeling down in front of him. I wanted this to be better than his fantasy - or mine. When I started moving my lips and tongue over him, his hands reached for my hair, almost as if he needed some sort of support. I let him slide in and out of my mouth, gently sucking the tip of him and smiled at the power I obviously had over him. I could feel he was getting closer, his lower body tensed noticeably and the grip of his hands tightened.

"No..." he managed to gasp. "Not like this..."

"Whatever you like," I smiled and got up to follow him to his bedroom.

Somehow we managed to remember using protection at the very last moment, then I felt him slide inside me with one swift move. His left hand supported my head while he used his right one on the small of my back to pull me closer against him as he thrust deeper and deeper. When I could feel my climax approaching, he placed a soft kiss at the nape of my neck and whispered into my ear.

"Let go, I'll catch you!"

My muscles tightened around him, pushing him over the edge with me. He collapsed on top of me, his head resting against my shoulder with a deep, satisfied sigh. We lay there for a very long time before he reluctantly rolled off me. We looked into each other's eyes, with silent understanding that what had just happened was the most amazing thing we had ever experienced in our lives. There was no need to put that into words, destroying the magic.

"Sweet dreams," he smiled and placed a soft kiss on my lips, then he pulled me into his arms and protectively pulled the blanket over me.

I curled up against his side and then _it_ happened. I pressed a similarly soft kiss on his bare chest and sleepily mumbled _'I love you'_. Then I fell asleep.

* * *

_You won't find me  
Naked and cold justa sittin' on the doctor's table  
Waitin' to be told justa why I'm no longer able  
To feel my heart beatin', gimme a good reason why!_

_I kinda went numb just around about the time you told me  
You were movin' on and you said that you were gonna phone me  
It's been so long and there ain't nothin' wrong with the line  
_

XXXXX

The next morning, I woke up to an unfamiliar alarm. My brain was still dazed from a night with too little sleep and a vague yet intense memory. I felt around me, but quickly realized that I was all alone. One of those dreams again… But then I opened my eyes and looked around. It took me a moment to get back to reality.

This wasn't a dream. I was in _his_ bedroom. Last night had been more than real. My gaze fell on a note on the nightstand. I reached over and read.

He was gone. Urgent call from the lab, didn't want to wake me. As if. I knew it was a lie; I would never sleep through the ringing of a phone, not even if I wasn't on call. Once a cop, always a cop.

I got up, dressed and left. After a stop at my place with a quick shower and change, I went to work. He wasn't there. A case folder with a post-it on my desk told me what to do for the day. He was avoiding me. Fine. Who needed complications like mixing private and work life? Not me for sure. But what exactly happened last night? I could have sworn he liked it at least as much as I did. And why the hell did it hurt so much? I decided to clock out early and go home.

I needed time for myself.  
I needed to rest.  
I needed sleep.  
Just me.  
No Mac.

Not in real life, not in my dreams.

* * *

_It's too late to regret it  
But you're the one who said it  
We're better off being apart_

_I hate to be a downer  
But don't bother comin' 'round here  
'Cause I won't have a change of heart  
_

_Well, I hope you learned a lesson  
'Cause you'll never be messin'  
With my head again the way that you did_

_It was never gonna work_

_You were too much of a jerk  
I'm finally fed up with it_

XXXXX

Now I'm still sitting on the couch in the living room. Too afraid to go to bed, afraid of memories about last night, afraid the dream might return.

Someone knocks at the door. I know who is there. I don't want to open it, but I still get up. I open the door and look at him, saying nothing. I want to be mad like hell for leaving the way he did, but instead I find myself melting just from seeing him standing there. His calm expression relaxes the tension inside my chest without me wanting it to. He is solid, attractive and sensual and there is something honest and apologetic yet stubborn in his eyes. He knows he made a mistake by freaking because of what I said before falling asleep last night and so he endures my silent eyeballing with patience, waiting for his moment to come.

I am _so not_ willing to give it to him...

XXXXX

_That's it! (That's all!) We had fun!  
(We had a ball!)  
It was good while it lasted  
But now I'm past it_

_(It was sure!) It was sweet!  
Sure you swept me off my feet  
I miss you now and then  
But would I do it all again?_

_Nah!_

_

* * *

_

But here he is, looking into my eyes, reading them like an open book. And then a smile crosses his face because of what he sees in them.

"Stella?"

He knows he has won.

He always does.

XXXXX

**_The End_**

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**So? What do you say? Drop a little review along with a secret New Years wish (don't say it, otherwise it won't become reality!) - you never know... ;-)**

**Thanks everyone - and keep an eye out for the next update on something else! Take care and Happy 2011, littlesheep.  
**


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